Yes, I doubt. Yes, I let it be.
Who has never doubted? I know I have. More than I would ever be able to quantify. These last couple years, I have been subject to lots of doubts. As I have been taking new steps in my life (getting married, moving, settling in a new country, designing and carrying out new projects, etc.), I have been questioning myself about the good or bad, the right or wrong, the gain or loss of each decision I have made. A question comes to my mind, why do we doubt so much? My insights bring me to these conclusions:
Doubts come with the unknown. It is obviously really scary to go towards something you don’t know anything about. Especially knowing that every decision you make in the present is going to affect your future. But is that such a bad thing? You are in control of what you want your life to be like. Life offered you a blank canvas, and you decide which colors and shapes you are going to use, who and what you are going to paint, how you are going to represent them. You are the Da Vinci of your own masterpiece. This is so scary, but so exciting at the same time. That’s what life is about; it’s not only about finding purpose and living the best than you can, it’s about creating the life you want.
Doubts come with the fear of failure. As we go forward with our life, we are always driven and motivated by the desire for success. This is exactly why we question the worth of every decision we make. Just think about that: If tomorrow a genius comes to you and tells you that you can do whatever you want without any consequences, for an entire year, what would you do? I am sure the answer would be a hell ton of things! Yes, just because there would not be any risk of failure. But, keep in mind that life doesn’t come with a safety net. Let’s not worry about failure, let’s look at chances that might be missed because of being too scared to even try. And if you fail, learn from your mistakes and try again.
Doubts come with the fact that we tend to care about what other people think. Have you already caught yourself thinking that you would love to do something but you were too anxious about what someone might think? Whether they are our parents, our friends, our coworkers, or others -that we want or not- other people’s opinions matter. It is our job, though, to not let it dictate our lives. After all, other people have to deal with their own lives, make their own decisions, have their own doubts. They are not us. They are them. We are us. Tomorrow, what this person thinks about us and our choices, is not going to matter anymore, but if we let it affect our decisions in the present, we are the ones who are going to pay the price and will end up not doing what we love in the future. So, let’s rid our mind of criticism.
In the end, doubt is healthy. It’s gotta be a fair dose, though. Even if doubts overtake us and sometimes overwhelm us, we should decide to take them as a part of us. I personally don’t want to fight against them. I think the battle would be lost in advance; it would just be a waste of my time. So, I decide to take them in the sense of: I am human, and I feel. Feeling is good. You know you are alive. I take those doubts with me and use them as a motor. This is a tool. The tool that will help me push my limits. If I doubt something, it is probably because I didn’t do everything in my power to have this feeling of security. What did I do wrong? Where does this feeling come from? What thing should I work on more? Should I ask people their opinion, which would reassure me? Don’t let it be your worst enemy. Tame it, as if it were a wild animal and you want to domesticate it. But, be aware that every wild animal always keeps its wild instinct. This is the thing that keeps me on my tip toes, and always reminds me that I cannot take anything for granted.